Michael Joseph Ryan

Michael Joseph Ryan (1969-2025)

Named after his great grandfather of the same name (Michael Joseph Ryan) and known to his loved ones as Mike, Michael Joseph Ryan was born on September 9, 1969, in Carmel, California, and spent his childhood in San Benancio, where Mike grew up in the countryside near Salinas in a warm and nurturing home with his mom Carol, dad Don, and two younger sisters Caryn & Elizabeth, along with their cat Tigger.

In their unruly backyard, Mike and Caryn loved twirling their little sister in her inner tube in the pool to amuse her, helping their mother plant her garden, and playing endless games of hide and seek. Mike talked of playing for hours at Dennis the Menace Park and taking family day trips to Monterey where they perused book stores and relaxed at the beach and wharf. Mike and his family attended weekend services at the Carmel Mission. He loved traveling with his parents and sisters – going on camping trips, family vacations, and weekend excursions to San Francisco to visit Grandpa Joe.  Mike had fond memories of family holidays spent with his cousins Christine and Jeff and his Aunt Marilyn at Grandpa Joe’s home – the very house that Mike and his wife would one day buy.

Mike graduated from Salinas High School in the Class of 1987 and went on to study Physics at UC Santa Cruz, studying abroad in France and graduating with a Bachelor’s Degree in Physics in 1992. Following in his father’s footsteps, Mike continued his studies at San Francisco State University, earning his Master’s degree in Physics in 1999 – with a research focus on dark matter. Mike’s father, who also had a Master’s Degree in Physics from SFSU, would have deep discussions with Mike about science, and one of the biggest compliments Mike’s father shared about his son was “He really knows quantum mechanics.” 

Mike’s inquisitive mind led him to a career in technology, working as a (self-taught) computer programmer for 25 years.  In the technology field, he contributed to work on firmware interfaces for handheld devices, robotics, and autonomous vehicles – his most recent professional project. 

Back in September 2003 his friends Jenny and Charles had tried to set Mike up with their friend Courtney at “Shakespeare in the Park” in Golden Gate Park, but that time Mike & Courtney only met from afar.  However, their mutual friends persisted, and in March 2004, they finally managed to set Courtney & Mike up on a blind date! The two spent the evening looking at the night sky atop Twin Peaks. 

Falling deeply in love, Mike & Courtney married at St. John of God on January 6, 2007 – surrounded by family and friends who celebrated with much joy and dancing.  In 2008 Mike received the best birthday gift ever when Courtney gave birth to their first daughter Gwendolyn on Mike’s birthday.  And three years later in November 2011, Mike & Courtney joyfully welcomed their second daughter Evelyn (Evie) into the family. The year before, after starting to build a family, they had settled in the Sunset District of San Francisco, where they found a strong community of friends.  Just like Grandpa Joe, Mike would spend hours tinkering in the basement workshop, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic and then throughout his extended illness.  He became absorbed in many projects — from woodworking to LED light designs with the girls. In the last year, he had plans to build a little free library to put in front of their house.

Gwendolyn fondly recalls “When I was a little kid my Dad would read me Harry Potter.”  She also remembers, “he also introduced me to so many books and films like Star Wars, The Hobbit – we even watched The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” together.  

Everyone who knew Mike welcomed his generous laugh.  He had a witty sense of humor – always looking for ways to put a humorous twist on what the girls would say.  With his dad and birth family, Mike had enjoyed watching British comedies, The Muppets, Monty Python, and Looney Tunes, and he continued the fun tradition with his own family, who, as recently as Christmas 2024, had some good laughs watching The Simpsons together.

Gwendolyn also describes, “My Dad introduced a lot of things to me. He was very knowledgeable about many things and would bring up fun facts about things.” 

Mike enjoyed sharing his curiosity and creativity with his children – from creating toys with his 3-D printer to supporting science-based projects in his daughters’ classrooms.  Mike continued to volunteer even after his colon-cancer diagnosis in the spring of 2021, designing a Robotics Badge project for Evie’s Girl Scout troop.

Evie recollects, “When I was younger,  I remember my dad always trying to get me into science. One of my favorite memories of this is when I told my dad about my fear of lead, and my dad gave me a periodic table book. Now I love the periodic table and have a real periodic table without the radioactive elements in my room.” 

An astronomy buff, Mike often referred to his children and Courtney as his guiding lights, his greatest source of joy and inspiration. He reveled in Gwendolyn’s singing and performing and Evie’s making and storytelling.  He was a foodie and participated in San Francisco’s food culture, and especially enjoyed apple pie. Like his mom, Mike was  an early riser and a good cook. He always found time to share his hobbies with family and friends. Whether it was cheering on the San Francisco Giants at the ballpark, tending to his garden, spending an evening looking at the night sky through a telescope, or traveling by train down the California Coast, Mike knew how to enjoy life – and share his joy with those he loved. Mike’s final project combined his love of family and gardening: He set up an indoor herb garden for Courtney, Gwendolyn, and Evie to continue to enjoy. 

Growing up in the beauty of the Monterey Bay area inspired in Mike a lifelong love of the outdoors. On family camping trips, long weekends, & holidays in Monterey as well as frequent trips to Yosemite in both summer – when they would camp on the Valley floor – and winter – when they would ski Badger Pass, the whole family, like Mike, enjoyed spending time in nature.  Most recently, they travelled to Hawai’i – visiting Volcanoes National Park and swimming with manta rays in Kona.  Mike cherished the many adventures he shared with his family.

Back home, Courtney threw a surprise party for Mike’s 50th birthday in Golden Gate Park in 2019. Then in 2024 Mike & Courtney, along with their daughters, travelled to Disneyland to celebrate their 17th anniversary.  And more recently Courtney, Mike, and the girls commemorated Zoox’s 10th anniversary by taking a ride in the self-driving cars Mike helped to develop.  In recent weeks, Mike held on for the holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s spent at home where the family also recognized Mike & Courtney’s 18th wedding anniversary on Epiphany: January 6, 2025. 

Michael Joseph Ryan, the courageous, loving Dad of Gwendolyn and Evie and devoted life partner of over twenty years to Courtney, passed away peacefully at home in San Francisco surrounded by the comfort of his family on the evening of Friday, January 10th. He will remain forever in our hearts.

As Kahil Gibran wrote in The Prophet:

Some of you say “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, Sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Graceful throughout the struggles of the last few years, Mike met the challenge with an awe-inspiring inner strength that helped the family keep hope alive. As Father Dan recognized when he came to the house to administer the sacrament of the anointing of the sick, it was so hard for Mike to say goodbye because of his deep love for his family and desire to remain present to them. As poet Dylan Thomas put it, Mike did “not go gentle into that good night.”

Mike is preceded in death by his father Don and his sister Elizabeth–both of whom he loved dearly.

Mike is survived by his wife and the love of his life Courtney and their daughters Gwendolyn and Evelyn (Evie); his mother Carol; his sister Caryn, her husband Sean, and their children Cody and Fiona.  Mike is also survived by his mother-in-law Cynthia; his father-in-law Joe; his brothers-in-law Tony; Bryan; Jason and his wife Amy, and their children Davis, Annie and Walker;  his sister-in-law Candace and her husband Brad, and their children Blythe, Braden and Claire – all of whom will miss Mike dearly.

 
We are forever grateful, as was Mike, for the generosity of our family and our community – to everyone who held our family in prayer, sent a card, celebrated milestones, provided or made a meal, carpooled the girls, walked our dog, sang a song, lent an ear – or a hand of any kind – over the past three and a half years. We would also like to thank Dr. Wesley Kidder and the entire UCSF medical oncology team; Dr. Anne Kinderman, Palliative Care Medicine; and Dr. Ajay Maker, UCSF Chief of Oncological Surgery for their excellent care. 

Mike’s loving spirit will live on in the hearts of those of us lucky enough to know him.  In lieu of flowers, please consider a contribution to an organization  listed on the website.   

A memorial service will be held at Saint Agnes Church on Masonic Avenue in San Francisco at 10:30am Saturday, February 15th.  Father Alejandro will officiate the ceremony, honoring the life of a husband, father, son, brother, colleague, and friend who touched the hearts of all who knew him.

Mike will be laid to eternal rest at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery where his paternal grandparents (Joe & Marion) are also buried.